AI And Grief Visualizing Loved Ones After Death
A Glimpse into an Alternate Future
Kierra Irvine holds onto the precious memories of her daughter, Evanna, who passed away in 2020 at age six due to a congenital heart defect. She remembers the constant loop of Disney movies during long hospital stays and the rare, cherished moments Evanna laughed out loud. Irvine deeply mourns the future memories they never got to create.
Last year, a TikTok trend caught her eye: bereaved parents using artificial intelligence to generate images showing what their departed children might look like as they grew older.
"I immediately thought, ‘I need to try that.’ I did it as we were celebrating her tenth birthday," said Irvine, a mother of four from Calgary, Canada. "It was nice just to see her be a bit healthier. Some of them without her trach [the breathing aid device on her neck]."
Evanna before her death
Kierra Irvine with her husband and children
AI Steps into the Realm of Grief
Over the past five years, advancements in AI technology have introduced new tools for navigating grief. These range from chatbots designed to mimic the personalities of lost loved ones via text, to sophisticated technologies creating interactive video conversations for funerals. In a notable instance, a shooting victim's family utilized software to generate a digital likeness that addressed his killer in court.
Services like YOV (You, Only Virtual) market these "digital personas" as a method for people to "never say goodbye to those we love".
A Deeply Personal Decision
"Everybody is very different," notes Carla Sofka, a professor of social work at Sienna College specializing in death in the digital age. "People who want and need that ongoing contact might find that comforting. Some people would never in a million years think about doing it. It’s an incredibly personal decision."
Finding Comfort in Imperfect Images
For Irvine, the AI-generated images of a ten-year-old Evanna, her distinct strawberry-red hair imagined longer, were bittersweet. While they couldn't replace real memories, they offered a vision of her daughter she would never have seen otherwise.
Another AI-generated image of Evanna
"It was very emotional," Irvine shared. "I had to ask the app to generate it probably 20 times, but I like it … she looks like her siblings."
Mending Bridges Through Digital Recreation
Laural Lovell faced a different kind of loss after her husband died in 2021, leading to a fractured relationship with her daughter, whom she wasn't present with at her 2024 wedding. Weeks after the event, Lovell used an app to create a digital resurrection. Combining a photo of her late husband in a suit with one of her daughter in her wedding dress, the AI generated an image of the two smiling, interacting, and even sharing a realistic-looking hug.
"I thought, ‘One of us should be there.’ It’s trial and error until you get a picture that makes sense, and it’s not creepy or has seven fingers. When it came out perfectly right, I just cried," said Lovell, 48. "We didn’t speak for a very long time, but she called me, she was crying, and all she said to me was, ‘Thank you so much, Mom.’”
The AI recreation by Laural Lovell, featuring her daughter and late husband
Navigating New Ethical Landscapes
There's limited scientific research on the phenomenon of using AI to cope with loss. "Is it going to change the way we grieve? Absolutely," Sofka stated. "How? It’s going to take years to do good, solid research to answer that question."
The rise of AI personas brings forth legal and ethical questions, particularly around consent, data privacy, and the potential misuse of sensitive information, such as for targeted advertising, especially with interactive versions that mimic personality.
A 2023 academic study published in De Gruyter Bill surveyed 222 people, finding that 58 percent supported AI resurrections if the deceased had given consent. However, only 3 percent deemed it acceptable without prior consent.
Sofka mentioned her own unpublished research exploring how people feel about the idea of having an AI version of themselves created, similar to services offered by platforms like Eternos, which allows users to create a "digital twin". Her findings showed respondents were "almost split right down the middle".
Divided Perspectives on Digital Remembrance
Irvine has experienced this division within her own family. "My husband will not look at those photos," she revealed. "When I went to show him, he said, ‘I don’t want to see them. I just can’t.’ I understand it. We grieve very differently."
