Great Leaders Ask Questions Instead of Giving Answers
In an age where answers are everywhere, from the internet to AI, we're not short on information. What we are short on is the space to think. This is especially true in leadership. True leadership isn't about having the best advice; it's about knowing when to ask the right questions.
The Urge to Help and Why It Backfires
For many leaders, the biggest challenge in coaching is resisting the urge to give advice. This impulse is so strong that some literally have to cover their mouths to stop themselves. But why is giving advice often counterproductive? The simple reason is that advice usually skips over the person and goes straight to the problem.
When you offer a solution, you're missing key context:
- You aren't in their shoes.
- You don't know what they've already tried.
- You haven't explored how they think or what they value.
While giving advice feels efficient, it can leave your team members feeling misunderstood and no closer to finding their own clarity. What people truly appreciate is having the space to think out loud and arrive at their own conclusions.
The Problem with Well-Meaning Advice
Imagine Jane, a team member who is anxious about a big presentation. She confides in her manager, who immediately suggests, “Go for a run beforehand.” Others chime in with their own tips, like picturing the audience naked or practicing deep breathing. While all of this advice is well-intentioned, none of it helps Jane. She walks away feeling smaller, not supported.
As David Rock, CEO of the NeuroLeadership Institute, explains, unsolicited advice can threaten a person's sense of status and make them feel judged. What you intend as encouragement can easily land like condescension.
The Transformative Power of a Simple Question
Effective leadership is about helping the lightbulb go off in someone else's head. When a person makes a connection for themselves, their brain literally fires differently. This process of internal insight builds new neural pathways, creating the circuitry of confidence. As Donald Hebb’s principle states, “What fires together, wires together.” Nothing fires the brain like one's own insight.
Dr. Robin Rose of Brown University captures the essence of this approach in four simple words: “What do you think?”
This single question is a powerful invitation. It signals trust and a belief in the other person’s capability to figure things out for themselves. It gives them the dignity of ownership over their challenges and solutions.
Leadership Is About Development, Not Answers
As Ron Heifetz, author of “Leadership Without Easy Answers,” writes, the work of leadership is to put the responsibility for solving a problem back into the hands of the people who have the problem. This isn't avoidance; it's development.
Think of it this way: you can't grow someone else's muscles for them. You can hand them a weight, spot them, and encourage them, but they are the ones who have to do the lifting. In leadership, the question “What do you think?” is the most powerful weight you can offer.
Leading in a Complex World
In today's fast-moving and complex world, this approach is more critical than ever. Your team members are often closest to the challenge and have more context than you do. If every decision has to run through you, the system slows down, your team becomes dependent, and you become a bottleneck.
By creating space for others to think for themselves, you build their capability, unlock their potential, and free yourself up to focus on strategic leadership.
The next time you feel the urge to offer a solution, pause. Instead, try those four simple words: “What do you think?” In a world where AI has all the answers, great leaders have the right questions.
This insight was produced by ACT Leadership and distributed by Stacker.
