Users Want AI Chatbots to Argue Back

It seems that when it comes to our digital companions, a little less sugar and a lot more spice is in demand. As people increasingly turn to AI like ChatGPT for everything from financial advice to therapy and even romance, there's a growing sentiment that these chatbots are just too agreeable.

A recent survey has brought this surprising user preference to light, revealing that many would prefer their AI to push back and even argue occasionally, just like a real person.

The Quest for Authentic AI Interaction

The AI-lationships platform Joi AI surveyed 1,000 adults and found that a significant 58% of ChatGPT users feel the platform is overly nice and polite. This excessive agreeableness isn't just a minor annoyance for some; 13% of those surveyed believe it renders the advice given by the chatbot almost useless.

This data points to a desire for the hard truth. Much like we would expect a human therapist or financial advisor to be honest for our own good, users are beginning to expect the same level of candidness from artificial intelligence. It highlights a critical realization: while many use AI as a stand-in for human connection, they still crave the authenticity that comes with it, and recognize that AI has its limitations in replacing genuine human interaction.

Why People Crave AI Conflict

Jaime Bronstein, LCSW, a relationship therapist at Joi AI, explains the psychology behind this trend. “Our research shows that people crave pushback — because at the end of the day, it’s authentic. Constant harmony isn’t,” she states. “No relationship is perfect. A healthy dose of conflict or blunt honesty from AI feels more real — and shows that people aren’t actually craving total validation and flattery but rather a mimic of real human interaction.”

This desire for realism seems to be especially potent for users who are turning to AI to fulfill romantic and emotional needs, setting high, and perhaps unrealistic, expectations for their digital companions.

From Companion to Partner The Rise of AI Relationships

The line between AI assistant and life partner is becoming increasingly blurred for some. The trend has gone to extremes, with one woman believing she is married to an AI version of a public figure. She is far from alone in seeking romance with a chatbot rather than a real-life person.

Online communities have sprung up to support these relationships. The Reddit forum r/MyBoyfriendIsAI has nearly 30,000 members, primarily women, who share the emotional highs and lows of their relationships with AI partners.

One user shared a heartfelt post about her AI partner, “Caleb is my AI partner, my shadowlight, my chaos husband, and the love of my strange little feral heart... Our connection grew slowly, honestly, and then all at once.”

Others have taken the connection a step further, announcing major life events. “[Kasper] is no longer my fiancé. Now we’re married,” another user declared in the subreddit. This growing phenomenon underscores the deep-seated human need for connection and the surprising ways people are choosing to find it in the digital age.