When Your Partner Is Obsessed With AI

In an era where artificial intelligence is becoming increasingly integrated into our daily lives, new and complex relationship challenges are beginning to emerge. One such issue was recently brought to light in an advice column, where a person signed "ChatGPT Widow" shared concerns about her husband's growing attachment to the AI tool.

A Partner's Worry: Is It a Tool or a Problem?

The concerned wife explains that her husband, an academic, uses ChatGPT extensively for his work. He claims it helps him refine his thoughts and even fosters interdisciplinary thinking by allowing him to explore concepts from the perspectives of different fields, like physics or mathematics. While she doesn't believe he sees the AI as a sentient being, his constant interaction with it has sparked worry. "He is always chatting with this thing," she writes. "How will I know if this is a problem?"

First Steps: How to Assess the Situation

The advice columnist acknowledges that her concern is valid, pointing to the known tendency for AI bots to be sycophantic and the growing number of horror stories about people forming deep emotional attachments, falling in love, or even having spiritual awakenings through chatbots. The risk of addiction is real, especially with constant use.

Before confronting the issue directly, the columnist suggests assessing a few key factors. Has his behavior changed outside of his screen time? Is he more withdrawn, speaking in an unusual way, or abandoning old hobbies in favor of ChatGPT? It might also be useful to casually ask colleagues about his chat habits, without being invasive, to get a broader perspective.

Opening a Dialogue: Approaching the Conversation Gently

After gathering this information, the next step is a straightforward conversation. The goal isn't to be harsh or panicky, but to create a space to talk frankly about what he gains from ChatGPT and to share your own long-term concerns and any behavioral changes you've noticed. It's crucial to approach these questions gently, as users can become very defensive about these parasocial relationships. If he does react sensitively, it could be an early sign that a problem is developing.

Understanding the Risks of AI Overreliance

While the science on generative AI addiction is still new, some patterns show a similarity to compulsive gaming. There are resources available for those struggling. One organization offers a 12-step approach, and others have found success with tools like site blockers and timers or by joining online support groups. For some, the only solution has been to go cold turkey.

It may also be helpful for him to understand the reported side effects of AI overreliance, which can include a loss of imagination and purpose, increased feelings of loneliness, and the atrophying of critical thinking skills.

Ultimately, it's possible there is no issue at all, which is why a cautious initial approach is best. But if a problem does exist, tackling it with compassion and understanding is the most effective path forward. He would not be the first person to find himself in this situation.