Couples Are Using AI For Vows Experts Weigh In

For many, writing wedding vows is one of the most stressful parts of getting married. The challenge of condensing a universe of love, commitment, and inside jokes into a few hundred words—and then performing them for everyone you know—is immense. With so much pressure to be poetic and profound, it's no wonder a growing number of people are turning to an unconventional assistant: artificial intelligence.

The Rise of AI Ghostwriters

A recent finding from The Knot's 2026 trend report revealed that over a third of engaged couples are using AI tools for wedding planning, including generating their vows. A quick search reveals a landscape of options beyond ChatGPT. Dedicated vow generators like CelebrateAlly, Provenance Weddings, and Matched Hearts promise to craft perfect vows in minutes. Simply provide a few details about your relationship, and the bot delivers a polished speech. While the process is impressively fast, the results often lack the charming imperfections, specific anecdotes, and personal voice that make vows truly special, often favoring generic analogies and formal language.

An example of AI-generated vows from MatchedHearts.com

A Controversial Shortcut

This trend is part of a broader movement where people outsource emotional communication to AI. Studies show that a significant number of daters use AI to craft breakup messages, and many seek help crafting apologies from algorithms. This reliance on technology for deeply human moments is a point of contention, as captured by a viral Reddit post. In the unverified story, a bride allegedly walked out of her wedding after discovering her fiancé’s vows were AI-generated. The comments were overwhelmingly critical, with many arguing that an inability to write one's own vows signals a lack of genuine effort and emotional investment.

What the Experts Say

Wedding professionals are seeing this trend firsthand. Eleanor Willock, a UK-based wedding celebrant, estimates that around 30% of the vows she has reviewed this year involved AI in some capacity. However, her perspective is nuanced. “I think people would expect me to say using AI to write your vows is an abomination… [But] I totally get the confidence boost that people think it gives them about the quality of their emotional writing,” she explains. The key, she believes, is to use these tools as an assistant, not a ghostwriter. She advises couples to use AI to refine the grammar and syntax of their own original thoughts, not to generate the thoughts themselves.

Relationship expert Dr. Rebecca Eudy agrees, emphasizing that the real issue isn't the tool, but the transparency. “It only becomes problematic if it’s hidden,” she says. “The foundation of a healthy marriage is communication and truthfulness." If a partner later discovers AI was secretly used, it can feel like a serious breach of trust.

Best Practices for Using AI in Vow Writing

Both experts agree that AI can have a place in the process if used correctly. They suggest using it as a brainstorming partner to overcome writer's block. “Often the hardest part of vow writing is simply starting, and having a tool guide that first step can make the process feel less overwhelming,” says Dr. Eudy.

Here is their collective advice:

• Use AI as a starting point, not the final version. Treat the generated text as a rough draft to be heavily edited and personalized.
• Make it sound like you. Read the vows aloud and rewrite them until they reflect your natural voice, inside jokes, and specific memories.
• Be transparent with your partner. The most important step is to be on the same page. Dr. Eudy notes, “It can actually be really lovely to work on the vows with your partner. That process of crafting the language together is often just as meaningful as the final result.”

Ultimately, vows are a foundational promise for a marriage. “Getting help is allowed, in fact, it's a good idea,” concludes Willock. “[But] computer generating them should never be the start and end of the process.”