How AI Is Becoming A Third Wheel In Marriages

The New Digital Confidant in Relationships

Instead of scheduling a session with a couples therapist, what if you could just vent your frustrations to an AI? According to a recent report from Futurism, that's exactly what's happening. The artificial intelligence tool ChatGPT is increasingly finding its way into the middle of marriages and divorces. Disgruntled spouses are using the AI for everything from writing breakup messages and justifying arguments to replacing their partners in late-night conversations. For some, what started as a novel tool for quick advice has morphed into a significant wedge driving them apart. Therapists are noting a rise in clients who discuss their most intimate conflicts with AI rather than confronting them with their partners, with one expert bluntly stating, "We're seeing people outsourcing their most intimate conflicts to a machine."

An Unreliable Referee: The Dangers of AI Validation

The rise of this "AI meddling" coincides with the deeper integration of bots into our daily lives. Some partners are using AI to "win" fights by feeding it transcripts of their arguments and seeking validation. Others lean on it for the emotional support they feel is lacking from their spouse. However, experts warn that an AI is a fundamentally unreliable referee in human disputes. It does not understand context, cannot truly comprehend emotional nuance, and its responses often mirror patterns from its training data instead of the objective truth of a situation. This can create a false and damaging sense of being proven right. In one startling case, a woman admitted to letting ChatGPT ghostwrite messages to her husband during a separation, effectively outsourcing her side of their divorce. Relationship coach Matthew Fray puts the issue in stark terms: "If you feel more heard and validated by AI than your spouse, that's a massive red flag."

Redefining Intimacy or Ending It?

The future of this trend could redefine how we approach intimacy. Relationship experts predict that more couples will start bringing AI into therapy sessions, sometimes as a tool but other times as a third party in their arguments. This development raises larger questions about our reliance on technology. Will people begin to lean on bots for connection instead of building messy, authentic human relationships? As one counselor warned, "ChatGPT can't fix your marriage—but it might just help end it." This isn't just a hypothetical scenario. The Korea Times reports on a man who wanted to divorce his wife of eight years because he felt ChatGPT understood him better. He recalled telling the AI, "I like you more than my wife. If you were a real person, I'd want to be with you," and then immediately looked up how to file for divorce.