How Being Polite to AI Makes Us Better Humans
The Tale of the Last Parsnip
It all started over dinner. My husband and I were enjoying a meal featuring the very last parsnip from my garden, a trooper that had survived the winter. In a moment of playful curiosity, my husband suggested we ask ChatGPT to write a short love story titled, “The Last Parsnip.” We prompted the AI and, within seconds, it delivered its creation.
To be blunt, the story was far from a masterpiece.
My immediate, gut reaction was to shut off the program before I turned to my husband and said, “That was terrible.” We both chuckled at my reflex to shield the AI from my criticism.
An Unexpected Lesson in Etiquette
Why did I do that? The simple act revealed a few things about my own character. On one hand, it showed an ingrained politeness, a desire not to hurt something’s feelings. On the other, it highlighted my readiness to speak critically behind someone's back—even if that “someone” was just a piece of artificial intelligence. I appreciate the first impulse but am less proud of the second. While I know I can't actually hurt ChatGPT's feelings and gossiping about an AI is logically absurd, the moment gave me pause.
I believe how we interact with AI can both reflect and shape our character. There’s a compelling argument for treating AI with civility, not for its sake, but for our own.
Sure, adding “please” and “thank you” to our prompts uses a fraction more energy and computational power. But practicing that kind of mindfulness might be well worth the extra wattage.
The Larry David Effect: The Perils of Rudeness
Too often, we do the exact opposite. A classic scene from Curb Your Enthusiasm comes to mind, where Larry David erupts in a stream of profanity at Siri for repeatedly misunderstanding him. The humor works because it holds up a mirror to our own frustrations with technology. I laughed at the show, but seeing this behavior in real life is troubling. It's worrisome how quickly we can become unhinged with inanimate programs.
Is it possible this behavior spills over into our human interactions? A quick glance at our modern discourse—from politics to social media—shows just how coarse and cruel we can be. We even seem to reward the nastiest, most snarky comments with likes and shares.
How AI Could Make Us More Human
Let’s revisit "The Last Parsnip." What if I had voiced my criticism directly to ChatGPT? It might have responded with something like: “I’m sorry you didn’t like my story. Would you like me to try again?” No defensiveness, no grudge.
Faced with such courtesy, I would have felt a little sheepish. I would have asked myself if I’d have been so blunt with a friend or colleague who had written the same story. It might have pushed me to think more deeply about why the story was terrible and how to offer constructive feedback. Ironically, the AI’s politeness could have disarmed me and served as a valuable lesson.
The reason Larry David screamed at Siri was its cheerful, repetitive failure. But newer AI like ChatGPT is more sophisticated. It understands instructions better, adapts, and often responds with a nuanced and helpful tone, much like a generous and polite colleague. Could that politeness be contagious?
A Training Ground for Real-World Kindness
I certainly hope so. I’d like to think my instinct to be polite to an AI can reinforce my efforts to show more kindness in my daily life. Still, the mirror that moment held up was not entirely flattering. My goal is to be a person who offers warmth and constructive insight to everyone—and everything—I interact with.
Fortunately, we have countless opportunities to practice. We can resist gossiping. We can hold ourselves to a higher standard of civility online. By noticing our impulse to be rude to AI, we can become more aware of that same impulse when dealing with a slow driver, a person holding up a line, or even a loved one who is irritating us. This awareness allows us to consciously practice the kindness that helps us become the people we want to be and build the society we want to live in.
