A Parents Guide To Talking About AI With Teens

Parents should start the AI conversation with their children early, even in elementary school, before they encounter it from friends or other sources. Photo Credit: Eva Redamonti for NPR

Shortly after ChatGPT launched in late 2022, 14-year-old Nicholas Munkbhatter began using it for nearly everything, including math problems. While initially impressed, he soon noticed a significant downside. "I realized it was just giving me an answer without helping me go through the actual process of learning," he explains.

Many teenagers are in the same boat, turning to generative AI like ChatGPT, Claude, or Google Gemini for help with homework, and even for guidance on mental health crises. They often do so with little to no adult supervision. According to education and child development experts, it's crucial for parents to step in and guide their children's understanding of this powerful new technology.

"Having conversations now about what is ethical, responsible usage of AI is important, and you need to be a part of that if you are a parent," states Marc Watkins, a lecturer at the University of Mississippi who researches AI's role in education.

While AI holds the potential to enhance student learning, it also carries significant risks, highlighted by tragic stories like those of teenagers who died by suicide after interactions with AI chatbots. Here’s what experts recommend for navigating this new digital frontier with your kids.

Start the AI Conversation Early

Don't wait until your kids are teenagers. Marc Watkins advises broaching the subject when they are in elementary school, before they hear about it from friends. To prepare for these talks, Watkins suggests parents dedicate a little time each week to learning about AI themselves, whether by listening to a podcast, reading articles, or experimenting with the tools firsthand.

A great way to explain how AI works is by playing Google's game, Quick, Draw!. The game has players draw an object while its neural network tries to guess what it is. This demonstrates that AI is only as smart as the data it’s trained on—it mimics human creation but doesn't truly think or understand.

Learn and Explore AI Together

Since AI technology is new for everyone, parents can learn right alongside their children. Ying Xu, an assistant professor at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, suggests using it as a shared discovery. For instance, when your child asks a question, you can type it into a chatbot together and discuss the answer. Ask questions like, "Is this helpful? What feels off about this response? How do you think it was generated?"

It's also a perfect opportunity to teach critical thinking and media literacy. Reinforce that AI can and does make mistakes, and show your kids how to fact-check the information it provides using reliable sources.

Discover AI's Potential for Learning

If your child is using AI for homework, approach it with an open mind. Research indicates that some AI tools can positively impact learning. Xu's work with PBS Kids, for example, showed that children were more engaged and learned more from AI-powered interactive shows than from traditional broadcasts.

Munkbhatter, the teenager from Sacramento, has found a healthy balance. He now uses AI as a learning aid rather than a shortcut. If he's stuck on a math problem, he asks ChatGPT for the first step or how to approach it. He also has it create quizzes from his class notes to test his knowledge.

Acknowledge the Risks of AI for Teens

The long-term effects of AI on child development are still unknown, but immediate dangers are present, particularly concerning mental health.

Dr. Darja Djordjevic of Stanford University's Brainstorm lab studied how popular AI models respond to users exhibiting signs of psychiatric distress. "What we found was that the AI chatbots could provide good general mental health information, but they demonstrated concerning gaps in recognizing serious conditions," she says. Dr. Djordjevic noted that chatbots sometimes provided unsafe responses to discussions about self-harm, eating disorders, and substance use. In response to these concerns, OpenAI has stated it is working to improve how its models handle signs of distress and connect users with help.

A key warning sign for parents is if a child spends excessive time with AI or starts talking about a chatbot as if it were a real friend. This indicates a need to reinforce the distinction between AI tools and actual people.

Setting Healthy AI Boundaries at Home

Creating a framework for AI use at home is essential. Experts offer these practical tips:

• Co-create the rules: Sit down with your kids and decide together what constitutes safe and acceptable uses for AI, like supervised homework help or creative projects. Set clear time limits and check in regularly about how using AI makes them feel.
• Set limits, don't ban: Watkins notes that complete bans rarely work with teens. Instead, focus on open conversation and clear guidelines. However, parents should feel empowered to ban clearly dangerous uses, especially if AI is encouraging harmful behavior.
• Prioritize real life: Make sure there is plenty of time for offline activities. Encourage participation in sports, hobbies, and family outings away from screens.
• Trust your influence: It can feel overwhelming, but Watkins emphasizes the power of parental guidance. "They're not going to remember an ad from an AI chatbot. They're going to remember a conversation you had with them. And that gives you a lot of agency, a lot of power in this."